That don’t mean me and your mom are together. We ain’t together and I ain’t your dad. I’m just her friend. You should just call me your big buddy.
Man to boy

I was so obvious out there today, holding my sign, even Stevie Wonder drove by and waved.
Man in fluorescent yellow shirt

The sun shines on a dog’s ass every now and then. I’ll fuckin take it.
Two men

I’m on the maintenance program but I don’t feel like that counts, really. I guess it’s something, though.
Two men

After six months they cut my food stamps and I said, “Fuck. Now I gotta start begging.”
Two men

I say that I’m a hippie but really I just do a lot of drugs.
Two young men

Every time I eat at Henry’s I shit my pants.
Three young men

The Burlington Free Press is fucked!
Man reading iPad

Dude, but you are one with the tree and when you hurt the tree you are only hurting yourself.
Two men

I gave him haffa one and he was fuckin done.
Two men