Shit didn’t pop up cause I didn’t have my fuckin ID on me, know what I’m sayin?
Two men

I feel virile. It’s not that. It’s just, like, I feel like all my babies are gonna die.
Man to woman

Crush up the moon and put it in a spoon.
Man walking with two women

I was supposed to go to a wedding, but my wife won’t let me have my clothes.
Man with no shirt on

I fuckin wish she was thrown in the drunk tank.
Two women

I love breakfast food, but it’s brunch time so we’re fucked.
Two women on a Sunday

With him being with Ted and leaving me, I can barely keep my shit together.
Man on cellphone

Three day weekends fuck me up.
Two young women

Yeah but if you get caught doing that shit someone’ll cut your tongue out.
Two young men

Sucks. All they had were morphines.
Woman at Ken’s Pizza