Every time I eat at Henry’s I shit my pants.
Three young men

The Burlington Free Press is fucked!
Man reading iPad

Dude, but you are one with the tree and when you hurt the tree you are only hurting yourself.
Two men

I gave him haffa one and he was fuckin done.
Two men

If it weren’t for bud, I’d have nothing to smoke.
Two women

I got something going on right now. I’m wetter than a pool.
Woman on cellphone

You’re a rich gay dad! What’ve you got to talk about all day long?! Why doncha just shut up!
Woman talking to herself

I lost my love, lost my fuckin phone. Lost my everything, bra.
Young man

Waiting for the bus

WOMAN 1: How you doing?
WOMAN 2: I’m just glad to be out of jail.

I’m not addicted, it just enhances me.
Two people